


Coming to  Terms

by Donteatthefootcream



Series: Pride Month 2020 [10]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Cadet Nog, Canon Disabled Character, Coming Out, Ensign Nog, Getting Together, It's getting together but the main focus is Nog figuring himself out, M/M, Nog is my gay son, Over the Years, Pining, Realization, Rom is a great dad, Self-Acceptance, Sexual Identity, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:54:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24593341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donteatthefootcream/pseuds/Donteatthefootcream
Summary: Throughout the years, Nog discovers he's gay. Everything is beginning to make sense.
Relationships: Nog/Jake Sisko
Series: Pride Month 2020 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768411
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	Coming to  Terms

Being a homosexual on Deep Space Nine isn’t a crime or unaccepted. Treated like it’s normal, respected too. But, there’s still this assumption that unless said otherwise, a person is straight. Children are raised to be straight and end up having to figure things out mostly by themselves. It’s not too bad, really, but it certainly isn’t helpful when you’re a Ferengi. Sexuality isn’t discussed, it just…  _ does.  _

So, Nog just assumed he liked girls. He was raised to like girls. Besides, it was more common to like the opposite sex. Why should he be different? He pushed every passing thought about any guys to the side, and if he believed a female to be worthy of his attraction then he crushed on them. It was simple. 

Yet, the older he got the more he felt like things weren’t right. Looking at women didn’t give him any sort of satisfaction like it should have. Interactions with them he ruined, but he didn’t know if it was intentional or not. He summed it up to the fact that being a teenager is weird. 

It wasn’t until Starfleet Academy where he began to figure things out. First, he found himself without meaning to, surrounding himself with members of the gay community. Supposedly, spending time with people like yourself isn’t unexpected. Those people taught him things, things that neither his father or uncle talked about. The signs and ways of knowing. 

Looking back, Nog started to piece things together. 

Nog was gay. 

Acceptance or not, it was scary at first. Where would he go from here? How would he break the news to his dad? And, would he always be alone? His race isn’t known for their immaculate beauty. It’s weird, seeing his race from the perspective of others. 

However, he did find a few guys who liked him. Genuinely _liked_ him. They thought his ambitions were honorable. Or, they thought he was funny. Or, his laugh was cute. For the first time ever, he was going on dates that weren’t ending in disaster. Instead, he laughed and had a good time without Jake setting him up. 

Things were all starting to make sense until they weren’t all over again.  _ Jake.  _ Jake Sisko, his best friend. Sometimes he’ll be on dates and think about him. Sometimes guys will kiss him and he’ll wish that it was Jake. 

Nog eventually dismissed it. Maybe he was just missing Jake. Maybe he was just excited about telling Jake his brand new revelation. 

  
  


When he returned home as a cadet, it took him a while to bring it up to his dad. How do you come out without it being awkward? Should he act like it isn’t different, his tone of voice sounding as if this wasn’t some big deal. And he knows his dad won’t care. His dad has never cared about things like that. His father is kind and loving. That’s probably why he’s more likable than his Uncle Quark. 

“I went on dates while at the Academy.  _ Successful dates _ ,” Nog brought up one day, accepting his father’s offering of root beer as he walked into his father’s quarters.

“Ooh dates? How’d they go?” Rom asks with an excited tone. He’s always eager to hear about his son’s life. 

“Obviously nothing was long term, but some of them were nice. Really nice.”

“You’ll find the one eventually!” 

Nog didn’t know where to from there, hitting a deadend in the conversation. He hadn’t predicted that. He was anticipating his dad to ask about them. 

Nog sighed, realizing that push had come to shove. “They were guys, Dad.”

Rom shrugged, looking puzzled. “Supposedly pairing up with a man is much more profitable. Why should I be worried?”

Nog smiled at his dad, his crooked teeth appearing. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He’d hid it from his dad for too long. 

“You’re right, Dad! I’m sure I’ll find a good one too,” Nog tells him. 

If the image of Jake smiling at him flashed before his eyes, Nog pushed it away. 

Once he had told his dad, Nog decided that Jake would have to be told next. Jake has always been his rock and irreplaceable companion. He was sure that like everyone else, he would take the news kindly. Hell, maybe Jake already knew. 

“I figured out why all my dates with females went wrong,” Nog confesses to Jake, eating dinner with him in their quarters. 

Jake hummed, forking his food into his mouth. It was an endearing sight. To Nog at least. 

“I don’t like them,” Nog says. “I like guys.”

Jake put his fork down, swallowing his food quickly. “Thinking back, yeah, that makes a whole lot of sense. It always seemed like you were trying too hard.” He chuckles, smiling his ever so handsome smile at Nog. “Thanks for telling me, Nog.”

Nog wanted Jake to respond with some sort of same news. That he liked guys too. He had no real proof that were to be true about Jake, but there was something there. Maybe it was the way Jake has comforted him. Or, maybe Jake is trying too hard too with all the girls he’s asked out over the years. 

“You’re my best friend, Jake,” Nog told him, thinking it was obvious. Of course Nog would tell Jake. 

“Same here, Nog. I couldn’t imagine a world without you to be honest. I think we’re going to be friends forever, not to sound cheesy or anything.” 

Nog softly laughed. “No, I understand. I feel the same.”

Friends or more, Nog knew Jake was always going to be by his side. Who was he to complain about that? 

Yet, there was still some feeling of disappointment. 

  
  


Nog came to realize that being a soldier made him more appealing. It didn’t matter that the Ferengi hold a bad reputation, or that he was short and had sharper teeth.  _ He was a Starfleet Officer.  _ He didn’t know how to handle the attention at first. Sometimes women would flirt with him and he had no idea what to do. So, he behaved as if he didn’t notice their intentions. 

Guys were different though. Still awkward, but different. It was easier to hold a conversation and return the sentiments. Nothing went anywhere however. Maybe it was his schedule. Or, how when off duty he was constantly around Jake. 

When he lost his leg the attention grew.  _ He was a hero.  _ He didn’t understand it. Honestly, all he saw him was as a survivor whose life would never be the same. He didn’t think being a hero and survivor coincided. But Jake kept telling him he was. He didn’t like it. 

“You’re a hero, Nog. That’s why they’re hitting on you!” Jake told Nog, walking with him down the Promenade. 

“I’m not a hero, Jake! Would you stop with that?” Nog replied, quickly losing his patience. “And you know what? I shouldn’t have to be some sort of ‘hero’ to be appealing. Their affections are fake.”

Jake wrapped an arm around Nog’s shoulders, pulling him into his side. “Yeah, you’re right. If it makes you feel better, I thought you were cool before losing your leg.”

It did make Nog feel better actually. He let Jake keep his arm around him too. 

A fifth date. A fifth guy, and everything still ended up about his duties and his leg. Jake never talked about it anymore. If anything, he made some inoffensive joke that only made Nog feel as if things were  _ almost  _ back to normal. 

Every guy wasn’t Jake. Nog had figured that out. 

“How’d it go?” Jake asked Nog. 

Jake looked up when he heard Nog kick off his shoes a tab bit  _ too  _ aggressively. 

“Bad?” Jake followed up, arching his eyebrows. 

“They aren’t you,” Nog mumbled, walking past Jake on the couch. 

“Excuse me?!”

Nog stopped his walk to his room, turning to face Jake with the uttermost confidence. “They aren’t you! They treat me differently, but you don’t. You try to keep things the same, even though you  _ really  _ need to stop calling me a hero.”

“I’m sorry-?”

“I love you, Jake. It’s absolutely crippling, you know that?”

Jake leaned over the back of the couch, head perched on his hands and smiling at Nog. Why did he look as if it didn’t matter?  _ It mattered.  _

“I know,” Jake said gently. “I love you too.”


End file.
